An important element in my spiritual growth is learning to accept what is. While there are still aspects of my life that I have not learned to accept, I have come to appreciate the love and wisdom in choosing not to fight when what I want, need, or like is at odds with reality.
This is a dramatic departure for me. I, like many earnest people, dedicated time, energy, and money to social and emotional combat. Since the 90s I fought labels, policies, political and philosophical battles, and even earlier versions of myself. By being on the “right” side (interpret as: MY side) of an argument or issue, I found validation of my worthiness in society. I saw that my perceived goodness was tied to how fervently I fought the seeming injustice du jour. I will say that my motives were positive and I was proud to debate a political viewpoint, make a website, work a phone bank, and carry a sign on the Capitol steps. Today, looking back, I see a wider perspective and I understand that while I was doing what I thought was right, my efforts were contaminated by the energy of conflict.
Now I realize that my relationship to the opposition was complex and symbiotic. By fighting [insert cause here], I gave myself purpose but I also gave an opponent purpose. Like the famous Buddha quote, “The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground.” By showing up to a fight (argument, Facebook rant, protest, etc) I reinforced the need for my opponent to suit up for battle. I see now that I actually manifested my own opponents! Lacking the presence to realize it, I sustained and nourished the fights I thought I wanted to eliminate, hence the axiom “What you resist persists.”
When I bring up the issue of choosing not to fight, my friends typically disagree with me. Living in Washington DC, opposing “wrong” viewpoints feels like the most significant and responsible way to spend our time, and it is a true way of life here.
Choosing not to fight does not mean inaction or neutrality. It also does not imply approval or endorsement of the opponent. A fight always involves one entity asserting unwelcome power, control, or authority on another. Choosing not to fight, on the other hand, means regardless of the outcome, never attempting to force another into submission. It is not cowardly, it is the epitome of bravery to look at the face of threat and declare that you will not engage in combat.
This is radical by our societal standards. Think of the implications of more dramatic examples. What does it mean if our country is invaded? What does it mean if I am assaulted? What does it mean if I am treated unfairly?
Reader, you may not like my answer to those questions. For this blogger, a guy attempting to apply spiritual principles to life, the answer is deceptively simple: get quiet, review your deepest principles, and follow your intuition. That’s it. Follow your gut. You will know how to protect yourself without fighting if only you allow yourself the necessary guidance.
How do I do that? I meditate, I ask for help, and I pay attention to what happens around me. I find guidance delivered to me in dozens of ways: I hear comments on the bus that correlate to my dilemma; articles appear in my feed that seem to speak to me directly; a friend unknowingly uses a certain phrase in a conversation that reinforces an earlier idea; thoughts and notions gently enter my mind and heart. These answers that rain down around me are always available if I maintain presence as I go about my day. The answers to my concerns are often simple. My values and my intuition tell me to control what I can (really just me), use the tools, gifts, and resources I have in accordance with my principles, and know that all is well even on my worst day. They remind me to take care of myself while doing no harm to others. They tell me to seek safety and physical comfort while maintaining perspective on what really matters. My values allow me to explain myself to others without needing them to agree; to follow avenues of help and protection when needed without planning an attack; to keep my own side of the street in order; and to control the few things under my control.
What would our country look like if no one fought for their perspectives? Would we descend into chaos and lukewarm paralysis? While an uncomfortable transition, the answer is no, not in the long run. When we put down our need to fight we are able to sense differently. As I mentioned earlier, maintaining presence allows guidance to flood in and our intuition to be enhanced. We know whom we should associate with and whom we should avoid. We allow our light/ peace/ serenity/ beliefs/ heart/ compassion to shine and therefore we naturally attract others like us. If you remember from Chemistry and Physics class: (1) like attracts like and (2) two waves of the same frequency amplify each other. As we shine out, more and more like-minded people join us- intuitively, almost unknowingly drawn in- and we again amplify each other. We create an energetic mass that is deeply felt by our higher selves AND by our minds/bodies. A magnificent force develops that transcends conflict- not avoids, not wins, but transcends. The energy that could have been conflict has been transmuted into something that serves the higher good. We have intuitively manifested a safety through the power of our light and unity of values. And we have then gotten our wish, our desire: a scenario in which we flourish while conflict was not even an option.
There are many who would dismiss the message of this blog as ludicrous. I can live with that. As I said, it’s radical by our current standards. This is just a bit of my intuition piped into the internet so that I can connect with others. Take it as you will, I certainly can’t present it as fact! But to those readers who feel a stirring as you consider my words, those who buzz with resonance at reading this, know that you are not alone. If it feels right to you, find a few moments when you can go within and ask yourself what your heart knows to be true. It might be this. Or something else entirely. But don’t worry, you’ll get no fight from me.
Love and light,
Johnny G
